grown up
by wishuponalilstar
Summary: Will and Lyra meet again, but can their love prevail, especially when Will has destroyed himself, and made Kirjava fade away in order to try to forget Lyra, and all that she stands for. plz r&r. by the way, W is 27 & L is 16 coz of the time dif.in worlds
1. Chapter 1

A/N: please read and review. Sorry obout the title. I now it's rubbish. Email/ review with suggestions if you have any better ideas. If you haven't read Philip Pullman's "His Dark Materials", I recommend reading that first, as otherwise this may not mean much to you. And it's a really good trilogy of books.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

Dedicated to: my best friend Philippa Mary Hopkins, Highworth.

Will arrived home from work at the usual time. He had had the usual day, with the usual people, at the usual place. Somewhere inside of him, Will could feel his inner self, his child form. He had tried very hard, for the most of ten years, to hide it away. He now knew nothing of the real Will, and thought it was just a dream he had had, not so long ago. In fact, he had had this dream almost every other night, since the day………….. the day ……………….. the day…. He couldn't remember. He just knew that ever since he had disappeared for four years of his life, he had had this distant thought in his mind.

Will was suddenly brought back to reality when he heard a pair of stiletto flip flops, the type that went out of fashion years ago, tapping their way up the stairs. He was staying on the third and topmost floor of a hostel. Judging from the noise now coming from the lobby, he guessed that the girl had met the guard, who must be on patrol at the moment. From the sound of her voice, she was one of Johnty's "little angels". He ran a sex business, where fat, middle-aged men with Bio problems, like Will, could come if they needed cheering up. Will, of course, had never used this service, but it didn't mean he hadn't fantasized about it.

About a beautiful girl with a stick thin waist and legs about three feet long. She would be wearing a cropped denim jacket, a revealing tank top, and a tartan mini-kilt. She would have lots of piercings, and would be wearing white leather stilettos. Her deep green-brown eyes would gaze at him, and make him feel loved. He had felt unloved for so long, he just wished he could have a moment of happiness. Her hair would be long, black and silky. He pictured here being around halfway through her teenage years. She would have just finished school. Like when he first met Dawn. Dawn was his partner, although they never talked. She would come round, sometimes, if she didn't have "previous engagements", and they would almost literally jump into bed together practically straight away. When they first met, they had been unable to take their eyes off each other, or keep their hands away from each other. They both, however, did not lose their virginity to each other. Will could not remember who he had loved so much as to give such a precious part of himself to them, but he knew that it had been during the time he had disappeared. That had been back when he was young and fresh. He had been quite sexy when he was younger, but it all seemed to have gone away after he had met dawn. Lost in his thoughts, he didn't hear the door gently click open and shut again. He thought he felt warm breath on the back of his neck, but it must have been his imagination. He brushed the back of his neck, which, he was surprised to find, had gone all goose bumps.

"Hello, Will", a deep voice purred from behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: please r & r, coz I would luv to know your thoughts. Thanks! Ciao!

Disclaimer: same as it was in chapter 1, surprisingly enough.

In the doorway stood the girl Will had taken to be one of Johnty's angels. When he saw her, he felt the blood rush downwards, and realised that the goose bumps that were originally just on his neck, had now spread all over his body. He held his breath. There was a stunned silence between the two, while each took the others appearance in.

At first Will could not contemplate what was odd about the girl. He had met at least four of the "angels" before, as they often got lost and went to the wrong place. She had the same type of dress as all the others, the same husky voice. But this one was different. For a start, she had known his name. and the way she looked at him sent shivers running up and down his spine. Then it clicked; she was the girl from his dreams.

Lyra could not understand how this could be Will, and thought she must have got the wrong room. In front of her was an uptight man, in a straight suit, with short, neat hair. He looked very tidy, compared to the apartment around him. But she could tell that he had lived in this place for years. On the walls were pictures of Dr Mary Malone, and who she took to be Wills mother. Then Lyra spotted something that made her heart stop. On the desk, which was full of scraps of paper, and piled high with notepads full of the most amazing drawings, lay a large, velvety one. On this she could see the a drawing of herself and Will, just a few years ago to Lyra, lying entwined on a bed of roses. As she flicked through the pages, she saw more and more drawings of herself, Will, their Daemons, and Botanic Place.

Will looked across, and saw her gazing at a particular favourite of his, featuring two mystical beasts curled up on a bench in Botanic Place. As he looked at the picture, and gazed at the beautiful creatures, he felt a pang of regret, of sadness, of disappointment. Then he did something he had been trying to block out for years. He remembered. he didn't remember much, or any great detail, but he could remember the creature on his left. He had once talked to her. Shown her off proudly to all his friends, when he came back after two years of being missing, presumed dead. Then, as he had gradually covered up all his mournfulness in layers of disguise, his Daemon, his friend, his soul, became more and more indistinguishable . and then, as he began to forget completely, she began to fade and fade, until, one morning, when Will woke up, he didn't even notice. He had hated her, had hidden her, for so long that he was almost relieved when, a few months later, he noticed she had gone from his life.

Will came out of his daze and looked at the girl in front of him. He suddenly felt angry. Who was she to barge into his rooms, and bring all these memories flooding back. In a moment of passion, he lunged out at her. He wanted to make her pay. He tried to move forwards towards her, but found he couldn't. he looked down, and, looking up at him intently, almost pleadingly, was the creature he had drawn. As he looked at her, he knew almost straight away who she was. She was Kirjava. She was part of him.


End file.
